I feel like a broken record.
Harper's surgery went smoothly.
She's been resting all afternoon on periodic doses of morphine.
She's refusing the bottle again.
She is screaming every time the nurses try to do anything to her.
I've been asked multiple times if this is her "normal level of fussiness?" Um, yes.
She scarfed down a bunch of fruit and then threw it all up.
I thought we were going to get out of here tomorrow, but I think that was a fantasy that I should file under "things that happen to children with normal levels of fussiness."
Eliza is with her Mimi and asking for "sissy" all day.
What's different this time?
Well, I just took a peek in the mirror and I'm pretty sure I have a few extra gray hairs.
The bags under my eyes are extra puffy.
Dave can't take off work because he already took a week of unpaid leave for the first surgery so I'm flyin' solo tonight and tomorrow.
I'm pretty fucking tired of being in the hospital. It's lonely, boring and even uglier than I remember.
Harper is no longer calmed by my recitations of "Goodnight Moon."
My mantra - still seizure free still seizure free still seizure free still seizure free.
Yep, I'm a broken record.
There is nothing I can say. I wish there was something I could say. Your mantra says it all: still seizure free!
ReplyDeletehang in there sweetheart, team Harper never quits. love, auntie Mae
ReplyDeleteSeizure free is AMAZING but I'm glad you're being honest about how you feel. It sucks, without a doubt, and most of us have no real idea how much. But we are thinking if you and begging you to call on us if we can help in any way.
ReplyDeleteNatalie, I feel for you and Dave. I hope all goes well. Your Dad would be very proud of your strength. You and Harper and Liza are his ideal females.
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